It's been a crazy year. I moved by myself with just the children to Cairo and I loved it there. I loved the chaos and the magic and everything really. I loved the fruit, and the kindness of people and my apartment, I really, really loved that apartment. It was gorgeous with stained glass windows and gorgeous tiling and three bathrooms (which was overkill really) and it had this amazing huge kitchen where I would knead bread and recite quran and listen to the azhan and revel in the beauty of it all.
But after more than five years it was finally time to come home again. To my tiny corner of the world, finally healed and free from the demons that haunted me and also seventy two kilos lighter!
Since I've come home I have been busy. Baking and sewing and creating. Dreaming and running and writing. Exploring and rummaging and laughing.
I was in a state of shock when I returned home. I had left my then husband and filed for divorce and he didn't react well to that even though we had been apart for quite some time. It was both the hardest and easiest thing I had ever done. But my Lord stepped in as he always has, bringing beauty from pain and joy from hardship. At first I was almost lost, everything had changed but nothing had at all. But he brought joy to my heart and ease to my life. Alhamdulillah for the blessings he has always poured out on me although I deserve them least.
I have been in a quiet place, in the midst of the greenery, where an ever present mist hangs low over the hills and darkness falls early, and in the quiet I could hear myself again. Very faintly at first but then louder as the weeks went by.
I am going to have to go back to work eventually, for now I have been making cakes, gorgeous, bespoke cakes for birthdays and events.Baking has always brought me joy and peace. We will see where that leads.
I'm training for a marathon and trying my hardest to keep up with my Arabic studies. One day insha'Allah I hope to return to the Middle East. A piece of my heart still resides there.
With Love
Bonnie
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