Monday, 11 February 2013

Going private and bratty kids

Salams all and happy Monday! 

You will have to excuse my zombie likeness today, I took some sleeping pills last night that did not agree with me and it has taken most of the day for them to wear off, it's awful actually and no matter how many lattes I have consumed it has made no difference at all! Lesson learned with those ones is all I can say.

I will be opening a private blog and this one will turn more to do with issues to do with converts, a green lifestyle etc you can request me to add you to my new blog if I you know you or you have left comments previously and I recognize your blogger name. You can email me at bismallah at hotmail dot co dot nz. 

This weekend we had some people to dinner whose four year old was so out of control it was scary (let's call him Zain) Zain swore and slapped my daughter across the face, tore up books and destroyed toys and when I took them off him, he bit me so hard that I was bleeding and really bruised. His parents didn't do one thing to stop him except to tell me to 'give him a hiding' which of course I would never do. I know much of it is due to his parents as they feed him only what he wants which of course is sugary stuff (so many of his teeth have already fallen out) they let him beat his baby brother (to teach them to toughen up) and when he tortures animals they do nothing to stop him. It's rather scary......

The father is not bad per se, he just has somewhat of a village mentality I guess. I am not really sure what to do as Zain's father is best friends with my own husband but I seriously do not want that boy around my little one, maybe I am being selfish but after seeing what he did to my arm I can't imagine what he could do to pudding I don't want him coming.

Any suggestions on my dilemma? All welcome :) 


  1. Assalaam Alaikum Dear!
    How exciting that you're starting a new (private) blog!! :-)
    Oh dear what a child Zain is! And what parents first and foremost :-( So sorry to hear about that and what he did to your daughter and you! Have you talked to your husband about your dilemma? That's the first thing I'd do. If he doesn't understand I would not be at home with my kids when that family came to visit. I don't know if that solution is possible for you though. I pray that it will help to just talk to your husband about it. He must understand that the safety of your children is a main priority and your husband can still hang out with his friend alone anyway.
    Lots of hugs sweetheart <3 You're in my prayers.

  2. My dear, please add me to your private for this little Zain, I think it's criminal for parents to do and say nothing. They are not helping their child. I am so sorry to hear what he did to you and your daughter.
    As Rosewater said you should definitely talk with your husband about this and let him know that it's dangerous to have this kid around for your children's safety.
    I am sure he can understand.

    Hope talking will be helpful and he will understand the danger for your own little ones.

    Take care my sweet Bonnie.

  3. I'd call her and tell her her son must apologise to your daughter.. I wouldn't let it go.. Friends or not.. Family comes first.

  4. Salam aleikum,
    That is sad, a child needs guidance and discipline, would it be poosible for your husband to approach his friend to address Zain's behavior?
    I would like to follow your blog.....

  5. I'd say lucky for this Zain that uncle T.S. was not around, I would have given him a real good spanking to put his ideas back in place and to think twice next time before slapping another kid or biting an adult.

    Islam urges us to seek good company, my own opinion is that if these parents are not capable to raise their kids with the good manners of Islam and respect of the others and honoring of the adults and looking after other people's property, then there is not much good in staying with them at all, as it would convey the wrong message to our own children.
    It might also not be a bad idea to suggest to them to seek some medical advise regarding their child's behavior, is he ADHD? autistic?? If that's the case, we ask Allah to Help them with this matter.

    We should invite at home the people who are pious, and this is a hadith of Rassul Allah. There are some people I do not like to see at home, and my wife knows about them. Among them are the ones who might bring more harm than good to home. It takes years to raise a tree, and some children could damage the long years of education you have been trying to provide your children in no time. I also often try to point out to my children the mistakes that people do, explaining the position of Islam regarding this. Your example of the toys destruction could have been the topic of : respect other people's property, and if you damage one thing, you are liable and you must pay it back or return it back to the same state you found it (several hadiths are issued regarding this). 4 years kid might not know all of this, but he is surely old enough to start distinguishing between the right and wrong, and his parents are responsible for teaching him that.

    Allah Knows best,

    wa assalam aleikum,

  6. You should speak to your husband first. What did he do about all of this- it's your home. They are not related to you so it's not your place to call the mom or dad.
    Just my thoughts :)

    Please add me to your blog...

  7. Oh Lil sis... I have this issue with kids here...Most are well behaved BUTthe houses/cousins on either side have family is a terror and the Mum does not discipline them at all. I try my best to talk to the kids, and they KNOW NOT IN KHEDEGAHS HOUSE. But I am their fathers cousins wife so it depends on theparents I suppose...but cos they said give them a hiding , I am sure telling kids off for bad behaviour will be acceptable. I have NEVER being one for slapping kids. I grew up with a Mother who terrorised us through this and vowed never...I see that slapping does nothing but set the bar for disciplining higher, such that , a slap is where the child will push to, instead of being able to discipline with words alone. My neighbour on other side TOLD ME to slap her child which I politly refused to do I was quite shocked as the lil girl is barely 2 and hit me specifically to gain attention....children will seek attention good or bad. With the first family I really enforce when they do something good and ignore slapping. They have since always behaved with me and I even tell them cop on when we are all at a family gathering...the Mum doesn't care